Creative Apnea
Over the past few months I have been wrestling a bit with my creative flow (with regards to music). This is nothing unusual for me. My musical output (and desire) always seems to ebb and flow. It has for many, many years. My usual method of dealing with this is to do something else for a while... to ignore the muse... make her beg for it! Without fail, that musical craving comes back with a vengeance in time. Since I don't make my living solely from music, I have that luxury. For the first time in my life, I'm grateful for not having music as my sole source of income.
The past few months, this cycle feels very different to me. I have fallen prey to the FUD (fear, uncertainty and doubt) that the brain of a creative person likes to dish out from time to time. "Am I all dried up?" "Is it all over now?" Of course, I know this is not the case. It never is. In muddling through all this, however, I think I have finally put my finger on my problem. Yes, it is MY problem... no one else's. As Hungry Lucy, we have been podcasting now for a couple of years. We talk about what we're doing creatively, what we're working on, what to expect next. We're being transparent and inviting people into our process. It's been great for us personally, and for Hungry Lucy, at least while the music is flowing. I think it's back firing on me at the moment though. These days, each week (or lately, each fortnight) I get a little panic in my gut before we record the podcast. "What have I done this week?" "What can I tell people I'm working on?" The podcast, for me, has become a constant reminder that my musical flow is more of a trickle at the moment. I never get to that point of focusing on something else until "the muse" revisits. I equate this (in my warped mind) to a sleep disorder (which I also have) that prevents one from ever getting into the required stage of sleep to fully get what they need from the process. The podcast has become my "creative apnea". As much as we want to share with you all, it cannot come at the expense of the music. I hope you'll agree with me on this. So, as a remedy, we won't be producing Tea with Hungry Lucy for a while. Know that when we do come back, we'll have lots to share. I hope you're still here when we do. Thanks for being here for us as we aim to be for you.
Much love,
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